Lost and Found

Part of the wilderness experience is getting lost. I don’t mean that sense of losing yourself in the wilderness in a moment of quiet meditation at a lakeshore or mountain top. I mean that moment, when you have been following what you thought was a trail for a while and then you notice that you have not seen a trail marker for some time. You start to wonder if you are even on a trail any more. And then, when you turn around, you realize that there is not a trail behind you, that you have been following the path of a grouse or deer. You are not on a marked trail. You don’t know where you are. You are lost.

I want to be clear, there is a difference between being in the wrong place or on the wrong trail and being lost. In my years backpacking and hiking, there have been multiple times when I realized that I was not on the right trail, that I took a left turn when I should have gone straight, when I misread the map and headed south when I should have gone north. These were not times when I was lost, I just was not where I wanted to be. I was still on a marked trail, I could find my location on a map. I was misplaced, but not lost. These are frustrating moments, but are not the same as getting lost. I knew where I was and could find my way out.

            Being lost means you have no idea where you are, you do not know how you got there, and you don’t know how to get to a place where you might be “found.” There have been a handful of times when I have been lost, really lost. These moments of being lost have lasted from a few moments to a number of hours, and each time had its own set of fears and worries. There have been those times when I realized that I was not following a marked trail and I could not find my way back. It is scary, overwhelming to know that you are lost. Every time it has happened to me (and let me stress for those who are thinking about going with me into the backcountry it has not happened that often), I go into a head space of worry and fear thinking that this is the way that I meet my demise, that I will encounter my bitter end, and years from now someone will find my body with a poorly scrawled note telling my wife and children that I love them and suggesting that I have a treasure buried someone in that wilderness. It is no fun getting lost.

            We all get lost from time to time. In different moments in our lives we realize that we are not where we intended and we don’t know how we got there and have no idea how to get out. It is a universal experience that I believe we all experience from time to time. It may not be in the wilderness, it may be with a job, with a relationship, with the day-to-day rhythms of life where we find ourselves in a place where we don’t know how we got there or how we are going to get home. We all get lost.

            These are moments when we are not sure what is going on, where we are going, and how to get through the day. Maybe it is out of moments of loss or trauma that we find ourselves feeling lost. When our life is turned upside down we can feel lost. When you lose a parent or child or spouse or loved one you can feel lost. Losing a job can make you feel lost. A global pandemic that shuts down the world puts us all in a place where we can feel lost. We don’t know how we got to where we are and we have no idea how to get out.

When I am lost in the wilderness I try to follow the following steps:

-       Don’t Panic

-       Have some food and water

-       Look at your surroundings, listen, get a sense of where you are

-       Look at the map and notice what might be around you

-       Make a plan

-       If necessary, stay where you are

-       If possible, reach out to others and ask for help

-       Don’t Panic

One of the biggest and most important things that one can do is to just stop, to take in the moment, the experience, and to take stock of everything. When we panic we often make poor decisions; we decide to push a little further ahead and exhaust ourselves, we decide that it is better to not stop for a scheduled snack and drink but instead to just keep pushing and we exhaust ourselves, we decide that it is better to keep pushing through the woods even though it is dark, and we run the risk of hurting ourselves. Of course, part of success in getting found is in preparation before going into the wilderness – bringing a map, the essentials to survive the night, food and water, and feeling confident in one’s ability to navigate in the wilderness. The other part of the success in getting found is how one handles one’s self in the moment.

      In life, part of what we can be doing is preparation, but the other part is how we manage ourselves in the moment. When we feel like we are losing our way, or when we find ourselves in a place where we are no longer sure where we are, where we are going, or how we got there. The emotions may be fear, or it may be a sense of existential dread, or despair, of feeling trapped or stuck. Stop. Have a snack. Breathe. Listen and look at what is around. And then, perhaps most importantly, get a sense of where it is that you want to go. You may have to backtrack or push forward or ask someone for help. It may be a place where all you need in the moment is a sense of being found, because to be found is to be seen, to feel safe, and to know that everything is going to be ok. When lost, often the worst thing is to just push ahead and keep going despite having no idea what you are doing. Stop. Take stock. Look for help. And don’t panic!

      Sometimes we go into the wilderness because we are lost in life, because we have been running in a way that does not make any sense and we are not sure where it is that we are going. In the wilderness, we can pause, we can look at what we have around us, where we can get some direction. And, in the wilderness we can be reminded that we are not alone.

Everyone gets lost from time to time. It is not a crisis until we make it so. How we get found is what is really important.